I'm a bad blogger, and must be punished!!! It's been another month, and even worse, this post has been sitting in draft for much of that time.
We even won the soccer grand final and I didn't post!
I've read a great many books and seen quite a respectable number of movies - yet no post!
What of those heady times in my blogging infancy when I'd post three entries in a single night?
I have a confession to make. I'm one of the vast, ever increasing number of young men (that's right YOUNG!!!) who are only ever 20mg of anti-depressant chemical away from writing some really bad folk music. Moreover, whilst on the cruise I threw caution to the wind - of which there was plenty and didn't it just get that boat rockin' to such an extent that none would come knockin' - and stopped taking my happy pills.
Yes. Very silly of me. As if returning from a cruise isn't depressing enough already. This is like adding insult to injury, when the injury is wound that you're rubbing salt into. It probably explains why I cried all the way through Mama Mia - though it's equally likely that was just Peirce Brosnan's singing.
Anyway, I did promise a somewhat more detailed blog about our recent cruise. To whom did I promise? The people who read my last blog entry. Did anyone read that entry? Not really. So why am I bothering to follow through on a commitment made to no-one and at no-one's request? I have no idea.
The first stop on our cruise was Vanuatu - specifically Port Vila. This was my third visit to Port Vila - it being a staple for P&O. It's one of the few South Pacific ports with a harbour capable of receiving a cruise liner, whilst maintaining the appearance of being incapable of receiving a postcard.
I recall on a previous visit being greeted on the dock by natives in traditional costume. Whilst I didn't see this on our recent visit, the traditional male costume of Vanuatu still warrants comment. Imagine, if you will, an oversize drinking straw, about 2 inches in diameter, a foot or so long, and made from some organic grassy material. If you prefer, imagine a regular sized drinking straw, and a very small person, the illusion works either way!
The straw is placed over the penis, folded upward, and tucked under a similarly grassy belt wrapped around the waist - and there you have it - the nubang - and doesn't the title work ever so well!
Whilst I'm no naturalist, I do find it a peculiar trait of human development that we've become so uncomfortable with nudity that someone thought up indecent exposure as a crime. I can assure you, if Jane Goodall were tell her little chimpy friends that if they were to get on with evolving, not only would they invent clothes (which is altogether quite practical, particularly if you lose hair at the same time as finding new ways to fuck with the ozone layer), but that they'd then go on to decide that NOT wearing clothes was intolerable.
Anyway, what I find particularly odd about the nubang, is that it covers the penis whilst leaving the scrotum on display. Now, to some this may seem like splitting hairs, but does this suggest that culturally they find the penis more unsavoury than the scrotum? Personally, I think to describe the scrotum as looking like an appendage of left-over elbow skin is putting it kindly. With the underside of the tongue already tucked neatly away inside the mouth, I'd have though the next priority for cover should be the scrotum. Sure, deal with the penis as well, but get the scrotum covered first.
Now, at this point, allow me to pause and reflect on a recent discovery vis a vis my blog and the finding thereof. I have a code snippet installed which allows the good people at google to monitor how people find my blog - e.g. referrals from Lee's blog, or from Facebook. When someone stumbles across my blog as a result of a google search, the report tells me the search terms used. Recently, I discovered that someone had been directed to my blog after searching for: "films about men getting buggered men". I am reminded of this as I read back over the preceding paragraph and wonder how scrotum, penis, appendage and tongue may be creatively combined into a new and exciting search term.
So anyway, I didn't see any nubang-clad natives, but was greeted by a "traditional" Vanuatu band playing on the dock. And by traditional, I mean anything but. Still, all traditions must have a beginning, and I'll not be a slave to nostalgia, so let the tradition begin with a band comprising the terminally dentally challenged, with more guitars than strings, and playing such traditional Melanesian fare as Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport, and well, pretty much that one over and over ... and over ... and over.
Thus are we welcomed to the market which is set up on the dock whenever a ship comes in. The market offers the weary traveller many an opportunity to relax under the expert hands of the local hair-braiders - and to my mind too few passengers really stop to think through whether this is their best option. I can assure you, no matter how thick and lustrous you may think your hair to be,
braiding will surely cure you of that misapprehension. Some girls can pull it off, a small few will actually come out the other end for the better - but I'm yet to see a guy on a cruise with braided hair who doesn't look prematurely bald and frankly more than a little silly. Which is why I encourage it wholeheartedly.
The market also sells a range of allegedly traditional weaponry, which are very popular amongst tourists of Connick's ilk. The claim that these could be traditional, or even that they are weapons, is easily discredited by the evidence of a nation of people who still exist. If these were indeed their means of hunting and defence, these people would starve, or worse still could be defeated by an invading force armed with balloons on strings - and there would be no market, no Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport, and, saddest of all, no nubangs. By comparison, the Swiss army present an inpenetrable miltary presence with their tiny yet versatile knives, and Captain Feathersword with his nicky-nocky-noo-ing could strike fear into the hearts of an entire nation (or at least tickle their exposed testicles).
The reality of Vanuatu is that is has very little of a cultural heritage of the type that we tourists can engage with. There is a culture of very basic tribal life, and even of cannibalism. Getting by as they did with the barest of implements and facilities, there is very little "take-home" culture for the western tourist to trade for. Much like the imported culture, the artifacts are similarly imported, and mostly from the same sources as supply the Australian discount chains. The biggest cultural discovery of the recent era for Vanuatu has undoubtedly been the permanent black marker. Sure, the $15 ukulele you can by from the Warehouse in any Australian town looks much like the $15 ukulele in the Port Vila market - and both were made in China - but in Australia they don't have "Port Vila - Vanuatu" written on the body in permanent black marker. And that pretty much sums up the local market. There is very little gennuine local product - but plenty of locally texta'd product.
I hereby proclaim Vanuatu "The Land of The Long Black Sharpie."
Beyond the market, you will find that every local with access to a working automobile (and don't let looks deceive, with a good downhill run many of these cars actually move) will be soliciting for your patronage to drive you about, and with minimal regard for road safety by any interpretation of the term.
Moving beyond the dock, the most prominent feature of the country is disorganisation. Port Vila is the shipping port, and yet has no container facilities. Shipping containers are scattered haphazardly along the soft shoulder of the road between the the town and the dock. The town is littered with half built structures, the weathering making clear that many of these have been half-finished for many years. And it is for this reason that I dub it the great Australian suburban backyard. Can any Australian male genuinely support a claim of never having commenced a backyard project only to, some years later, finish it hurriedly, or remove it, once the For Sale sign appears in the front yard.
Despite having been here before, and knowing full well that there is far greater value to be obtained in using the service of local drivers than there is in the organised tours, we booked on a tour of the local botanical gardens. The local botanical gardens have little to maintain the attention of a fast-paced generation W'er (didn't we come before Gen X?). Certainly not enough to occupy the period of time between being dropped off by the bus and the bus returning to pick us up. Actually, this is not entirely true. For the terminally dull and anal retentive, such as I, there was more than enough reading material attached to tomato stakes around the gardens to occupy a quite absurdly tedious number of hours. However, we were constantly moved by the tour guide to the next display, casting the illusion of a fast-paced and exciting tour. Imagine my surprise, after being rushed along to find that we had an hour or so to sit around in the heat before our bus returned.
The gardens did contain some iguanas, bats, a python (with its mouth sticky-taped shut - and I'm not sure whether this was for safety reasons, or if perhaps it was taped shut by a nubang salesman because it keeped telling people to eat from the fruit of the tree in middle of the garden, after which they'd rush out and buy some pants), and a coconut crab.
There is on the tour a kava hut, and our guide described the wonders of this hallucinogenic, which is ground from the root of a local plant and which has the look and taste of mud. (to be read in Homer Simpson voice) Hmmmm muuud. A cultural oddity is the pride with which they hold their traditional vice. I'm not entirely convinced that kava is doing the community a world of good, and I wonder if there may be a few more projects actually getting finished around the place if they weren't so keen on maintaining this tradition.
Presenting kava, and the drinking thereof, as a tourist attraction, is a bit like Melbourne suddenly taking pride in its homeless winos. "And to your right you'll see a man with wild hair shouting incoherently. You can see from the front of his pants that he's been urinating, which is a bit of a traditional for those partaking of the local 'plonk'."
In addition to the botanical gardens tour, I parasailed from the back of a boat - which was great (last time I abseiled down the cascape waterfalls).
Anyway, I think I've written enough to assuage my guilt for the time being. I promise I'll try to be a better blogger.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
BY REQUEST ...
Before I get to detailed blogging about our recent cruise - which shall await the sorting of over 2,000 photos ... hang on ... I'll give the overview now, then get to the details/photos/videos in a later post.
We left home at 4:20am on Friday two weeks ago (I'm on leave - surely you don't think I know what day it is).
Drove to Sydney and spent the night with Donna and George.
Boarded the ship.
Party party party!!!!!
Two weeks and five islands later we got back to Sydney, spent another night with Donna and George, drove to Lakes, spent a night in our apartment there, and arrived back in Traralgon on Tuesday.
I didn't miss a day in the gym on the ship - which I'm quite proud of. I also didn't miss a buffet breakfast, 3 course lunch, scones with jam and cream for afternoon tea, or four course dinner. So, for those who've been waiting some years for the grand reveal of my abs ... keep waiting kids.
Connick spent much of the cruise in the cabin watching movies.
I postulated and subsequently disproved the theory that too much karaoke is never enough.
Highlight of the trip (for me) - singing with Jesse Banez, piano player extraordinaire, who had also been on our last two cruises. In my mind everyone on the cruise wanted to hear me sing every time a microphone was left unattended. That audible groan you may have heard all the way from Australia every time I made for the stage was just the Pacific Dawn battling some pretty fearsome weather (and there was a bit of that too!).
But lo, it ended all to quickly, so if anyone has an unused prescription for any manner of anti-depressant medication - send it to me ASAP. I'll be needing to increase my dosage substantially until the next cruise. I hereby postulate that, when on land, too much medication is never enough.
I did check with the Purser's desk (or Percy's desk, as Jesamine prefers) on the last night for any empty cabins going cheap on the following cruise - but the boat is just too damn popular.
Met some great people, drank too much (mostly against my better judgement and at the expense of the aforementioned great people), and enjoyed every second. I shall now spend the remainder of my leave sitting by the phone awaiting a call from P&O with a great offer to return.
Further details and photos shall follow in due course - but for now, back to the matter at hand.
I have made a commitment to do a gig at the Star Bar in Traralgon in September - can't recall the date, but I think it'll be the Sunday after the AFL Grand Final. I'll be supporting the Beer House Dogs (at least I think that's what they're called). Mike, who plays guitar with the band, is a fellow FOB United team member, and this may be his last gig before he returns to the land of the long white cloud.
Anyhoo - given that I'm no longer in a band, and haven't played for quite some time (excluding quite copious servings of Karaoke on the Pacific Dawn), I have no idea what to play. So, If you can make it to the gig, then how about leaving me a comment with a request, and I'll attempt to play it for you. The quality of my performance shall be entirely at my own discretion, and I make no warrants in that regard. In fact, I don't even promise to do my best - just to do.
So leave me a request - get to the Star Bar on the afternoon of the Sunday after grand final day (or at such other time as I subsequently advise), and join me for all the fun of the fair - but without the fair ... and with less fun.
We left home at 4:20am on Friday two weeks ago (I'm on leave - surely you don't think I know what day it is).
Drove to Sydney and spent the night with Donna and George.
Boarded the ship.
Party party party!!!!!
Two weeks and five islands later we got back to Sydney, spent another night with Donna and George, drove to Lakes, spent a night in our apartment there, and arrived back in Traralgon on Tuesday.
I didn't miss a day in the gym on the ship - which I'm quite proud of. I also didn't miss a buffet breakfast, 3 course lunch, scones with jam and cream for afternoon tea, or four course dinner. So, for those who've been waiting some years for the grand reveal of my abs ... keep waiting kids.
Connick spent much of the cruise in the cabin watching movies.
I postulated and subsequently disproved the theory that too much karaoke is never enough.
Highlight of the trip (for me) - singing with Jesse Banez, piano player extraordinaire, who had also been on our last two cruises. In my mind everyone on the cruise wanted to hear me sing every time a microphone was left unattended. That audible groan you may have heard all the way from Australia every time I made for the stage was just the Pacific Dawn battling some pretty fearsome weather (and there was a bit of that too!).
But lo, it ended all to quickly, so if anyone has an unused prescription for any manner of anti-depressant medication - send it to me ASAP. I'll be needing to increase my dosage substantially until the next cruise. I hereby postulate that, when on land, too much medication is never enough.
I did check with the Purser's desk (or Percy's desk, as Jesamine prefers) on the last night for any empty cabins going cheap on the following cruise - but the boat is just too damn popular.
Met some great people, drank too much (mostly against my better judgement and at the expense of the aforementioned great people), and enjoyed every second. I shall now spend the remainder of my leave sitting by the phone awaiting a call from P&O with a great offer to return.
Further details and photos shall follow in due course - but for now, back to the matter at hand.
I have made a commitment to do a gig at the Star Bar in Traralgon in September - can't recall the date, but I think it'll be the Sunday after the AFL Grand Final. I'll be supporting the Beer House Dogs (at least I think that's what they're called). Mike, who plays guitar with the band, is a fellow FOB United team member, and this may be his last gig before he returns to the land of the long white cloud.
Anyhoo - given that I'm no longer in a band, and haven't played for quite some time (excluding quite copious servings of Karaoke on the Pacific Dawn), I have no idea what to play. So, If you can make it to the gig, then how about leaving me a comment with a request, and I'll attempt to play it for you. The quality of my performance shall be entirely at my own discretion, and I make no warrants in that regard. In fact, I don't even promise to do my best - just to do.
So leave me a request - get to the Star Bar on the afternoon of the Sunday after grand final day (or at such other time as I subsequently advise), and join me for all the fun of the fair - but without the fair ... and with less fun.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
I'M ON LEAVE!!!
Last Friday was my last day work - and I'm now on leave for 8 whole weeks. How jealous are you?
Hmm ...
Thought so!
I think my brain actually commenced leave a day early. I had a couple of meetings in Werribee on Friday, but when I got there I went to get my bag out of the car - and it weren't there. I'd left all the tools of my trade at home. Of course that sort of thing isn't really going to stress my on my last day.
On the way home I dropped in Chadstone and spent some time Borders (bookstore) and also saw Hancock at the cinema. What a great way to start leave.
I decided to learn calculus while I'm on leave (as well as Kung Fu), so I purchased a caculus book at Borders. I did study some caculus in year 11, but I don't remember much about it, so it's jolly well time I learnt.
Hancock was quite good by the way. It perhaps wasn't my first choice, but I really enjoyed it. There's a bit more to the plot than is given away in the trailer - which is a bit unusual these days.
We won soccer 14-2 this week. Go FOB U!
I've started my Kung Fu training, which firstly invoved standing rather uncomfortably (and preferably in bad fashion) for a long period of time.
So far I can do it for a short period of time.
It is currently Friday afternoon, and we're pretty well packed for our cruise. The plan is that we'll get up early tomorrow morning - say, 4am - and drive to Sydney. We'll stay with friends in Sydney Saturday night, then board the ship Sunday afternoon.
This is third cruise for Suzy and I, but the first with the kids.
And the best thing is, I have a legitimate excuse for letting the blog got stale for two weeks.
Till me return ...
Hmm ...
Thought so!
I think my brain actually commenced leave a day early. I had a couple of meetings in Werribee on Friday, but when I got there I went to get my bag out of the car - and it weren't there. I'd left all the tools of my trade at home. Of course that sort of thing isn't really going to stress my on my last day.
On the way home I dropped in Chadstone and spent some time Borders (bookstore) and also saw Hancock at the cinema. What a great way to start leave.
I decided to learn calculus while I'm on leave (as well as Kung Fu), so I purchased a caculus book at Borders. I did study some caculus in year 11, but I don't remember much about it, so it's jolly well time I learnt.
Hancock was quite good by the way. It perhaps wasn't my first choice, but I really enjoyed it. There's a bit more to the plot than is given away in the trailer - which is a bit unusual these days.
We won soccer 14-2 this week. Go FOB U!
I've started my Kung Fu training, which firstly invoved standing rather uncomfortably (and preferably in bad fashion) for a long period of time.
So far I can do it for a short period of time.
It is currently Friday afternoon, and we're pretty well packed for our cruise. The plan is that we'll get up early tomorrow morning - say, 4am - and drive to Sydney. We'll stay with friends in Sydney Saturday night, then board the ship Sunday afternoon.
This is third cruise for Suzy and I, but the first with the kids.
And the best thing is, I have a legitimate excuse for letting the blog got stale for two weeks.
Till me return ...
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
SOCCER, STORIES AND SLOW COOKING
Can it already be a week since I last posted? It sure doesn't feel like it, but I guess blogger doesn't lie.
Having just returned from soccer, I can report a 3 goal victory. Yay for us!!! I've even made it onto the goal kicking ladder, which, and those who've seen me in action will know, can only be put down to them having a reeeaaaally loooooong ladder.
This win comes after a two goal loss last week against the top side.
Those who read Lee's blog (and let's face, I don't have any friends of my own) will know of the weekends Puerto Rico fest. Being somewhat anti-social and keen not to risk my unbeaten (1-game) winning streak, I raided the Scott's bookcase and read two books:
I also started reading a book called "Celebration of the senses" by Eric Rolls, which Lee had borrowed from Clinton and Jennifer, and which I have now borrowed to finish reading.
I have also just read "Playing Beattie Bow" by Ruth Park. This is a childrens book, but I bought it second hand because I felt that I'd missed something important in this. I had heard of this book, and it seemed that all the other kids at school knew about it. Now that I'm all growed up, no seems to have heard of it, so perhaps it was just my imagination. Anyway, it's about a girl who accidentally travels back in time, and it's quite readable for an adult - and would be highly recommended for an older child or younger teenager.
I cooked another batch of curry in the slow cooker on Monday, this tim using beef instead of lamb (because that's what we had in the fridge). I also made up the vegetable curry and we cooked them in the slow cooker together.
What? Recipes? Okay then. Here they are.
LAMB CURRY
(from 100 great ways to use slow cookers & crockpots, by Simon & Alison Holst)
2 Tbsp Oil
1 onion (sliced)
2 cloves garlic
2 Tbsp ginger (grated)
1-1.2kg lamb (cubed)
1 Tbsp curry powder
1 x 5cm cinnamon stick
4 cardamom pods (squashed)
6 cloves (whole)
800g diced tomatoes
2 Tbsp tomato paste
2 Tbsp honey
2 bay leaves
Cook the onion, garlic and ginger in 1 Tbsp oil, and add to the slow cooker.
Lightly brown the lamb in 1 Tbsp oil, then add curry powder, cinnamon, cardamoms and cloves - and cook for one minute.
Bang everything in the slow cooker on low for 8-10 hours.
The recipe also calls for 1 tsp fenugreek seeds, which I'm yet to find.
VEGETABLE CURRY
(based on a recipe from www.gourmetindian.info)
Paste:
3 green chillies
1 red chillie
1/2 tsp tumeric powder
1 inch ginger
a sprinkle of granulated garlic
1 tsp cummin seeds
1 tsp coriander seeds
Crush all this to buggery with a mortar and pestle.
Other stuff:
3-4 chopped potatoes
a similar volume of chopped pumpkin
a dozen or so beans
some chopped carrot
2 chopped tomatoes
2 chopped onions
1 green capsicum
2 Tbsp oil
2 Tbsp lemon juice
Method one:
Brown onion in the oil, then add and tomatoes and cook for 5 minutes.
Add the paste, stir, and cook for another two minutes
Add the vegetables, 2 cups of water, and cook till you've cleaned up the kitchen.
Add the lemon juice and simmer for a bit.
Method two:
Brown onion in the oil, then put the whole shebang in the slow cooker for 8 hours or so, preferably with the lamb curry and you'll have flavours up the yin yang!!!
NAAN BREAD
(based on a recipe from www.gourmetindian.info)
3 1/2 cups flour
1/2 cup yoghurt
1 egg
1/4 cup butter
3 tsp sugar
3/4 cup water
1 2/3 Tbsp dried yeast
Mix yeast and 1 tsp sugar into 5 Tbsp water and stir well.
If the surface bubbles after 10 minutes, you're right to go. If not, your yeast may have gone to yeast heaven, and you'll need to get yourself to a yeastery to replenish stocks.
Add the rest of the ingredients, sans flour, and stir the bejeezus out of it. Then add the flour and mix it and knead it and stuff till you've got a dough that's just so damned doughy you want to push your face into it.
Warm a bowl, butter it (inside, not out, you idiot) put the dough in it. Cover it with cloth, and keep it somewhere warm for about 40 minutes - by which time it should be considerably more voluminous than you remember.
Make 8 equal balls from the dough, and then flatten them from the centre out so that the edges remain a little thicker than the middle. Grab each one frm the edge between your thumb and forefinger and hang it so that it stretches into a tear drop. Bake it for about 10 mins at 230 degrees.
Don't forget to eat it!
Only two days of work left before I take 8 weeks leave. Woohoo!!!!
Having just returned from soccer, I can report a 3 goal victory. Yay for us!!! I've even made it onto the goal kicking ladder, which, and those who've seen me in action will know, can only be put down to them having a reeeaaaally loooooong ladder.
This win comes after a two goal loss last week against the top side.
Those who read Lee's blog (and let's face, I don't have any friends of my own) will know of the weekends Puerto Rico fest. Being somewhat anti-social and keen not to risk my unbeaten (1-game) winning streak, I raided the Scott's bookcase and read two books:
- Hell Island by Matthew Reilly
- Cracking the DaVinci Code by Simon Cox
I also started reading a book called "Celebration of the senses" by Eric Rolls, which Lee had borrowed from Clinton and Jennifer, and which I have now borrowed to finish reading.
I have also just read "Playing Beattie Bow" by Ruth Park. This is a childrens book, but I bought it second hand because I felt that I'd missed something important in this. I had heard of this book, and it seemed that all the other kids at school knew about it. Now that I'm all growed up, no seems to have heard of it, so perhaps it was just my imagination. Anyway, it's about a girl who accidentally travels back in time, and it's quite readable for an adult - and would be highly recommended for an older child or younger teenager.
I cooked another batch of curry in the slow cooker on Monday, this tim using beef instead of lamb (because that's what we had in the fridge). I also made up the vegetable curry and we cooked them in the slow cooker together.
What? Recipes? Okay then. Here they are.
LAMB CURRY
(from 100 great ways to use slow cookers & crockpots, by Simon & Alison Holst)
2 Tbsp Oil
1 onion (sliced)
2 cloves garlic
2 Tbsp ginger (grated)
1-1.2kg lamb (cubed)
1 Tbsp curry powder
1 x 5cm cinnamon stick
4 cardamom pods (squashed)
6 cloves (whole)
800g diced tomatoes
2 Tbsp tomato paste
2 Tbsp honey
2 bay leaves
Cook the onion, garlic and ginger in 1 Tbsp oil, and add to the slow cooker.
Lightly brown the lamb in 1 Tbsp oil, then add curry powder, cinnamon, cardamoms and cloves - and cook for one minute.
Bang everything in the slow cooker on low for 8-10 hours.
The recipe also calls for 1 tsp fenugreek seeds, which I'm yet to find.
VEGETABLE CURRY
(based on a recipe from www.gourmetindian.info)
Paste:
3 green chillies
1 red chillie
1/2 tsp tumeric powder
1 inch ginger
a sprinkle of granulated garlic
1 tsp cummin seeds
1 tsp coriander seeds
Crush all this to buggery with a mortar and pestle.
Other stuff:
3-4 chopped potatoes
a similar volume of chopped pumpkin
a dozen or so beans
some chopped carrot
2 chopped tomatoes
2 chopped onions
1 green capsicum
2 Tbsp oil
2 Tbsp lemon juice
Method one:
Brown onion in the oil, then add and tomatoes and cook for 5 minutes.
Add the paste, stir, and cook for another two minutes
Add the vegetables, 2 cups of water, and cook till you've cleaned up the kitchen.
Add the lemon juice and simmer for a bit.
Method two:
Brown onion in the oil, then put the whole shebang in the slow cooker for 8 hours or so, preferably with the lamb curry and you'll have flavours up the yin yang!!!
NAAN BREAD
(based on a recipe from www.gourmetindian.info)
3 1/2 cups flour
1/2 cup yoghurt
1 egg
1/4 cup butter
3 tsp sugar
3/4 cup water
1 2/3 Tbsp dried yeast
Mix yeast and 1 tsp sugar into 5 Tbsp water and stir well.
If the surface bubbles after 10 minutes, you're right to go. If not, your yeast may have gone to yeast heaven, and you'll need to get yourself to a yeastery to replenish stocks.
Add the rest of the ingredients, sans flour, and stir the bejeezus out of it. Then add the flour and mix it and knead it and stuff till you've got a dough that's just so damned doughy you want to push your face into it.
Warm a bowl, butter it (inside, not out, you idiot) put the dough in it. Cover it with cloth, and keep it somewhere warm for about 40 minutes - by which time it should be considerably more voluminous than you remember.
Make 8 equal balls from the dough, and then flatten them from the centre out so that the edges remain a little thicker than the middle. Grab each one frm the edge between your thumb and forefinger and hang it so that it stretches into a tear drop. Bake it for about 10 mins at 230 degrees.
Don't forget to eat it!
Only two days of work left before I take 8 weeks leave. Woohoo!!!!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Blogging is HARD WORK!!!
I just realised that it's soccer night again - and I haven't blogged since some-time prior to last weeks game - which incidentally we lost. This means, of course, that I've done nothing worth writing about - which won't stop me writing about it anyway.
MOVIES
2 movies to report.
The Incredible Hulk.
I took Connick to see this. It's okay - but not great. I still say Iron Man is the best of the Marvel superhero movies. I actually preferred the first Hulk - because it was more "cartoony".
Kung Fu Panda.
I took both the kids to see this on Sunday night. I hadn't been all that keen based on the previews - but Danny assured me it was LOL funny, if not ROFLPIP funny!
I wouldn't go that far - but I did enjoy it. It's VERY Jack Black.
It's also ironic that I saw this film, as I have recently developed something of an obsession with Kung Fu. Well, ironic in an Alanis Morissette sort of way.
Connick went to his first Karate lesson recently - and I decided I might like to take lessons as well. Which then led me to researching Martial Arts, and deciding that I'd really like to study Kung Fu. Unfortunately there's no one local providing Kung Fu training, so I ordered some books from Amazon.
I can definitely feel a new hobby coming on!!!
BOOKS
Midwich Cuckoos - John Wyndham
I loved this one - definitely one of his best. It's King-esque, but far more streamlined.
Dirt Music - Tim Winton
I've been meaning to read Tim Winton for some time - and finally borrowed this one from Many and Dave .... the Trumpets.
This is an excellent book. I know this to be true because the cover has stickers telling me about the various awards it won. I also know this to be true because I read it.
It's a style of book that I've not read much of - in fact the most similar author I can recall reading is the mysterious H.M.Brown - who you may remember from such memorable blog posts as ... well ... some of my earlier ones.
It's a book primarily about people, rather than happenings.
Literary folk would probably call it a "character study".
Movie folk would probably call it "a terrible investment".
I'd call it " a really good about about people".
The World Set Free - H.G. Wells
This is interesting, as it traces the events following the harnessing of atomic power, and the developmnent and aerial deployment of atomic bombs. Why is this interesting? Because the book was published in 1914, and Ernest Rutherford did not "split" an atom for the first time until 1919, and the Manhattan Project which developed the first atomic weapons did not commence until 1941.
Nontheless, intersting though it may be in its foresight, it's just not a great book. It's okay, but if you, as I, have more books to read than lifetime left in which to read them, you can probably pass this one over.
I only finished this one last night, so I haven't started another one yet.
ADVENTURES IN SLOW COOKING
Suzy bought a slow cooker recently, so last Saturday I slow cooked a lamb curry (and somewhat less slowly cooked a vegetable curry). Curry was followed by Puerto Rico with the Scotts and Roddas. Not for me though - I had to slip off to bed to nip an emerging migraine in the bud.
I can see the slow cooker opening up a new world in culinary delights. And it's already got me thinking about my next great investion ... the even slower cooker!!!!
That will have to do for now - but I shall endeavour in future to be both less tardy and more interesting.
MOVIES
2 movies to report.
The Incredible Hulk.
I took Connick to see this. It's okay - but not great. I still say Iron Man is the best of the Marvel superhero movies. I actually preferred the first Hulk - because it was more "cartoony".
Kung Fu Panda.
I took both the kids to see this on Sunday night. I hadn't been all that keen based on the previews - but Danny assured me it was LOL funny, if not ROFLPIP funny!
I wouldn't go that far - but I did enjoy it. It's VERY Jack Black.
It's also ironic that I saw this film, as I have recently developed something of an obsession with Kung Fu. Well, ironic in an Alanis Morissette sort of way.
Connick went to his first Karate lesson recently - and I decided I might like to take lessons as well. Which then led me to researching Martial Arts, and deciding that I'd really like to study Kung Fu. Unfortunately there's no one local providing Kung Fu training, so I ordered some books from Amazon.
I can definitely feel a new hobby coming on!!!
BOOKS
Midwich Cuckoos - John Wyndham
I loved this one - definitely one of his best. It's King-esque, but far more streamlined.
Dirt Music - Tim Winton
I've been meaning to read Tim Winton for some time - and finally borrowed this one from Many and Dave .... the Trumpets.
This is an excellent book. I know this to be true because the cover has stickers telling me about the various awards it won. I also know this to be true because I read it.
It's a style of book that I've not read much of - in fact the most similar author I can recall reading is the mysterious H.M.Brown - who you may remember from such memorable blog posts as ... well ... some of my earlier ones.
It's a book primarily about people, rather than happenings.
Literary folk would probably call it a "character study".
Movie folk would probably call it "a terrible investment".
I'd call it " a really good about about people".
The World Set Free - H.G. Wells
This is interesting, as it traces the events following the harnessing of atomic power, and the developmnent and aerial deployment of atomic bombs. Why is this interesting? Because the book was published in 1914, and Ernest Rutherford did not "split" an atom for the first time until 1919, and the Manhattan Project which developed the first atomic weapons did not commence until 1941.
Nontheless, intersting though it may be in its foresight, it's just not a great book. It's okay, but if you, as I, have more books to read than lifetime left in which to read them, you can probably pass this one over.
I only finished this one last night, so I haven't started another one yet.
ADVENTURES IN SLOW COOKING
Suzy bought a slow cooker recently, so last Saturday I slow cooked a lamb curry (and somewhat less slowly cooked a vegetable curry). Curry was followed by Puerto Rico with the Scotts and Roddas. Not for me though - I had to slip off to bed to nip an emerging migraine in the bud.
I can see the slow cooker opening up a new world in culinary delights. And it's already got me thinking about my next great investion ... the even slower cooker!!!!
That will have to do for now - but I shall endeavour in future to be both less tardy and more interesting.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Confession
Forgive me blog for I have sinned. It has been 19 days since my last post.
Of course, on a more positive note, it has been 19 days since my last post!
I can't even remember all the swell things that have happened to me in that time - but let me try........................
.......Nope. Nothing springs to mind. I guess I'll just give you the same old updates of books and movies.
What have I read of late? Well, I'm glad you asked.
I think I'd started on "The Kraken Wakes" by John Wyndham as at last post. It was good.
Honestly, that's all I can come up with. It's not that I didn't enjoy the book, I just can't seem to be bothered with the whole blog post thing. But, it's been 19 days, and I'm no quitter, just a massive procrastinator and put-er-off-er-er.
I also read a book called "Why the toast always lands butter side down - The science of Murphy's Law" by Richard Robinson. This was reasonably interesting - though premised upon something of a misconception about Murphy's Law itself.
I read a very good book called "White Hotel" by D.M. Thomas. This was a loaner (thanks Clinton and Jennifer), and is an exceptional book. Very unpredictable and well-written. I cannot recommend it highly enough. Highly enough for what I don't know. If I did know, I still doubt that I'd be up to the task - because I really can't be bothered.
I read Mother Night by Kurt Vonnegut Jnr. This was good, but not his best. Again, I wouldn't know how highly to recommend it, so won't bother.
I'm currently reading "The Midwich Cuckoos" by John Wyndham. This is shaping up to be one of his best, along with "Day of The Triffids". It's got a very Stephen King feel to it. This one was filmed as "Village of the Damned", which I've never seen (and so am probably not well placed to recommend to an appropriate altitude).
Last weekend we went the football with the Scotts and the Trumpets (as we call them), to see Hawthorn defeat Essendon at the Telstra dome. First AFL match for our kids (and only about the 5th for me). Connick didn't enjoy it much, and not only because he's a bombers fan - he found the crowd too noisy (which is the pot calling the kettle black). Jesamine loved it, and we're already making plans to see Collingwood and Footscray (as I still call them) next weekend.
Oohh. I forgot to mention. I finally won a game of Puerto Rico before the footy. Yay for me.
We stayed over in Melbourne (well, Box Hill really) and went to the movies the next day to see Prince Caspian.
BORING!!!!
Suzy and I left half way through and snuck into another cinema to see Sex & the City. I didn't think much of that either. So after 10 minutes I found myself a comfortable couch and lay down and read a book until I fell asleep.
Soccer Update!!!!
I think since the last update we've had a forfeit (for the first time ever we just couldn't pull a team together) and a win. My knee has been fairly sore since last Wednesday. I went to the hospital last Friday on the way home from work, but the Dr thinks it's just a slightly torn tendon and should heal itself.
On account of the knee, I sat out this week, and ended up going out to Inferno (nighclub) to see Irwin Thomas (whom you may recall as Jack Jones of Southern Sons), Tania Doko (of Bachelor Girl), Jon Stevens (of Noiseworks, and some really crap reality TV show) and Ian Moss (of Cold Chisel).
Suzy and I used to drive to Melbourne to see Jack when we was a-courtin'. His voice is unbelievable. It was great back in the Southern Sons days, but that doesn't even compare to the way he sings now. Of course, if I wanted to be really cynical, which I so often do, I'd suggest he's gone from impersonating John Farnham to impersonating Jeff Buckley. I don't know how highly it would be appropriate to commend him, but I'm imagining pretty high, and I'm by no means a tall chap.
I missed Jon Stevens, but didn't miss him - if you get my drift. He's cuter than the others, and does have a great rock voice, but really he could be any rock singer wearing a tight t-shirt in any pub across Australia.
Ian Moss was sensational. I was not a Cold Chisel fan during the 80s. I thought they were low-brow bogan rock. Which it quite ironic considering I spent part of the 80s listening to Black Sabbath and Iron Maiden - go figure.
As it happens, I was mowing the lawn last weekend on the ride-on - and had a lot of Cold Chisel popping up on the iPod. At this stage I didn't know I'd be going to see Mossy on Wednesday, but I was realising what great songs Cold Chisel had, and how talented they were. Still doesn't mean I want to hear pissed guys in pubs shouting along to their songs though and suggesting there's some manner of aqua-railway from Sydney to Hong Kong.
Anyway, I'm told that we had a draw in soccer that night.
Suzy went up to Lakes Entrance on Thursday night to have a scapping weekend in our apartment. Unfortunately she's not been well so has hardly left the bed so far. Which is better than Lee, who was to go but has also been unwell and didn't even get there (and with Brian at home to tend to her every need, who can blame her!).
I straightened our chookhouse today, with a little help from the kids. I think the chookhouse deserves a blog entry of its own at some point, but to summarise, I started building this over a year ago (it could even be two years). It's been bloody expensive, and after my work rate had declined considerably and it was becoming a source of some humiliation, a large gum tree fell on it. So, for some time it was remained unfinished and looking like the Ettamogah Chook House. Anyway, it's now standing straight again, and I really should finish it so that the chooks have somewhere safe to live while we're on our cruise in July.
Before I sign off, let me share with you a very funny video that someone sent me on facebook:
Oh, I almost forgot. I got "tagged". I can't remember what the deal was, but Lee tagged me and now if I don't tell you 7 random facts about myself, I'll .... um .... well I'm not really sure there was much to compel me to be quite honest. And if there was, it would surely be cyber-bullying and Today-Tonight would be on to like a thing that gets onto other things quite rapidly ... on that other thing.
I'm also supposed to tag other people. "Friends" I think they're called. Sorry. Don't have any. Fuck off.
7 Random Facts about me:
5 - I think I can dance.
3 - I used to be a boy.
6 - I think "chestnuts" could be a very funny word for breasts, and so spend much of December sniggering.
7 - I have a "thing" about hairs growing in my ears and nose, and somehow think that I look better sitting around with a pair of tweezers up my nose than with even the smallest follicle.
2 - I was always good at maths - but I'm really bad with numbers.
4 - I don't believe life has any meaning.
1 - Usually with things like this I make up answers for a cheap laugh - but not this time!
Goodnight all you scrunchy-munchkins!
Of course, on a more positive note, it has been 19 days since my last post!
I can't even remember all the swell things that have happened to me in that time - but let me try........................
.......Nope. Nothing springs to mind. I guess I'll just give you the same old updates of books and movies.
What have I read of late? Well, I'm glad you asked.
I think I'd started on "The Kraken Wakes" by John Wyndham as at last post. It was good.
Honestly, that's all I can come up with. It's not that I didn't enjoy the book, I just can't seem to be bothered with the whole blog post thing. But, it's been 19 days, and I'm no quitter, just a massive procrastinator and put-er-off-er-er.
I also read a book called "Why the toast always lands butter side down - The science of Murphy's Law" by Richard Robinson. This was reasonably interesting - though premised upon something of a misconception about Murphy's Law itself.
I read a very good book called "White Hotel" by D.M. Thomas. This was a loaner (thanks Clinton and Jennifer), and is an exceptional book. Very unpredictable and well-written. I cannot recommend it highly enough. Highly enough for what I don't know. If I did know, I still doubt that I'd be up to the task - because I really can't be bothered.
I read Mother Night by Kurt Vonnegut Jnr. This was good, but not his best. Again, I wouldn't know how highly to recommend it, so won't bother.
I'm currently reading "The Midwich Cuckoos" by John Wyndham. This is shaping up to be one of his best, along with "Day of The Triffids". It's got a very Stephen King feel to it. This one was filmed as "Village of the Damned", which I've never seen (and so am probably not well placed to recommend to an appropriate altitude).
Last weekend we went the football with the Scotts and the Trumpets (as we call them), to see Hawthorn defeat Essendon at the Telstra dome. First AFL match for our kids (and only about the 5th for me). Connick didn't enjoy it much, and not only because he's a bombers fan - he found the crowd too noisy (which is the pot calling the kettle black). Jesamine loved it, and we're already making plans to see Collingwood and Footscray (as I still call them) next weekend.
Oohh. I forgot to mention. I finally won a game of Puerto Rico before the footy. Yay for me.
We stayed over in Melbourne (well, Box Hill really) and went to the movies the next day to see Prince Caspian.
BORING!!!!
Suzy and I left half way through and snuck into another cinema to see Sex & the City. I didn't think much of that either. So after 10 minutes I found myself a comfortable couch and lay down and read a book until I fell asleep.
Soccer Update!!!!
I think since the last update we've had a forfeit (for the first time ever we just couldn't pull a team together) and a win. My knee has been fairly sore since last Wednesday. I went to the hospital last Friday on the way home from work, but the Dr thinks it's just a slightly torn tendon and should heal itself.
On account of the knee, I sat out this week, and ended up going out to Inferno (nighclub) to see Irwin Thomas (whom you may recall as Jack Jones of Southern Sons), Tania Doko (of Bachelor Girl), Jon Stevens (of Noiseworks, and some really crap reality TV show) and Ian Moss (of Cold Chisel).
Suzy and I used to drive to Melbourne to see Jack when we was a-courtin'. His voice is unbelievable. It was great back in the Southern Sons days, but that doesn't even compare to the way he sings now. Of course, if I wanted to be really cynical, which I so often do, I'd suggest he's gone from impersonating John Farnham to impersonating Jeff Buckley. I don't know how highly it would be appropriate to commend him, but I'm imagining pretty high, and I'm by no means a tall chap.
I missed Jon Stevens, but didn't miss him - if you get my drift. He's cuter than the others, and does have a great rock voice, but really he could be any rock singer wearing a tight t-shirt in any pub across Australia.
Ian Moss was sensational. I was not a Cold Chisel fan during the 80s. I thought they were low-brow bogan rock. Which it quite ironic considering I spent part of the 80s listening to Black Sabbath and Iron Maiden - go figure.
As it happens, I was mowing the lawn last weekend on the ride-on - and had a lot of Cold Chisel popping up on the iPod. At this stage I didn't know I'd be going to see Mossy on Wednesday, but I was realising what great songs Cold Chisel had, and how talented they were. Still doesn't mean I want to hear pissed guys in pubs shouting along to their songs though and suggesting there's some manner of aqua-railway from Sydney to Hong Kong.
Anyway, I'm told that we had a draw in soccer that night.
Suzy went up to Lakes Entrance on Thursday night to have a scapping weekend in our apartment. Unfortunately she's not been well so has hardly left the bed so far. Which is better than Lee, who was to go but has also been unwell and didn't even get there (and with Brian at home to tend to her every need, who can blame her!).
I straightened our chookhouse today, with a little help from the kids. I think the chookhouse deserves a blog entry of its own at some point, but to summarise, I started building this over a year ago (it could even be two years). It's been bloody expensive, and after my work rate had declined considerably and it was becoming a source of some humiliation, a large gum tree fell on it. So, for some time it was remained unfinished and looking like the Ettamogah Chook House. Anyway, it's now standing straight again, and I really should finish it so that the chooks have somewhere safe to live while we're on our cruise in July.
Before I sign off, let me share with you a very funny video that someone sent me on facebook:
Oh, I almost forgot. I got "tagged". I can't remember what the deal was, but Lee tagged me and now if I don't tell you 7 random facts about myself, I'll .... um .... well I'm not really sure there was much to compel me to be quite honest. And if there was, it would surely be cyber-bullying and Today-Tonight would be on to like a thing that gets onto other things quite rapidly ... on that other thing.
I'm also supposed to tag other people. "Friends" I think they're called. Sorry. Don't have any. Fuck off.
7 Random Facts about me:
5 - I think I can dance.
3 - I used to be a boy.
6 - I think "chestnuts" could be a very funny word for breasts, and so spend much of December sniggering.
7 - I have a "thing" about hairs growing in my ears and nose, and somehow think that I look better sitting around with a pair of tweezers up my nose than with even the smallest follicle.
2 - I was always good at maths - but I'm really bad with numbers.
4 - I don't believe life has any meaning.
1 - Usually with things like this I make up answers for a cheap laugh - but not this time!
Goodnight all you scrunchy-munchkins!
Monday, May 26, 2008
I ARE SQUARED
Before I commence with my mathematical meanderings, let me firstly confess to a most dismal loss in soccer last week. I think the score was 14-2 or something along those lines. And while I'm about it, Jesamine's Gems lost on Saturday, as did Suzy's Gems on Thursday.
Now, on to my personal challenge.
It seems from my admittedly cursory research that there is no intuitive mathematical formula from which to calculate Pi. By intuitive, I mean a formula of which, with a basic grasp of logic, you can understand the why-for. For example, the formula for the area of a square, length by width, can be understood by picturing a grid of 1-unit by 1-unit squares filling the area. I had anticipated some similarly logical reasoning would lie behind a formula for calculating Pi - and I was sadly mistaken.
'Twould appear that for some time Pi was only known by measurement. If you draw a large enough circle and measure the circumference and the diameter accurately enough, you can determine Pi to, well, around 3-4 decimal places. Not much really is it - but for most people using pencil and paper a 1 meter diameter circle and a 1 millimetre is about the practical limit, so that's a 3 decimal place limit.
Wikipedia tells me that with a circle the size of the observable universe, and a measurement precision of 1 hydrogen atom - you can still only calculate Pi to 39 decimal places. And in case you're not aware, the observable universe is very large, and a hydrogen atom considerably less so. If you imagine a teapot, you couldn't fit the observable universe in it - whereas you could easily fit two hydrogen atoms within a teacup - and still have room for milk and sugar.
I just did a quick calculation, and by my reconing, if a hydrogen atom is around 25 picametres, and the obervable universe is around 1000 billion trillion kms, then I can't see how you'd get beyond 38 decimals.
Anyway, so it seems that calculating Pi was all about drawing circles until people started stumbling across mathematical series that approach Pi. Still, these are non-intuitive, but they do work.
For example, the series (4/1)-(4/3)+(4/5)-(4/7)+(4/9) .... where the denominator increase by 2 in each term, converges towards Pi ... very slowly. You get up to (4/13) before it even gets to "3", and you're up to (4/49) before you've found Pi to one decimal place. At (4/1017), which is all that I could do using all the columns in Excel with two terms per column, I still hadn't resolved Pi to 2 decimal places.
Whe I first read about this, I thought, if that's the way it works, how do people know how many places they've calculated Pi to? You've got a raft of decimals after each result, but how do you know which ones are right?
Then I thought to myself, obviously you keep adding terms until a decimal stops changing. But they don't change with each calculation. For the first six terms you'd be convinced that Pi = 2 point something. For the next 18 terms you'd think the first decimal is 0.
So, at the moment I remain a little confused. But by gosh by golly hasn't this been educational. I shall continue my investigations a little further.
Toodle-oo
Now, on to my personal challenge.
It seems from my admittedly cursory research that there is no intuitive mathematical formula from which to calculate Pi. By intuitive, I mean a formula of which, with a basic grasp of logic, you can understand the why-for. For example, the formula for the area of a square, length by width, can be understood by picturing a grid of 1-unit by 1-unit squares filling the area. I had anticipated some similarly logical reasoning would lie behind a formula for calculating Pi - and I was sadly mistaken.
'Twould appear that for some time Pi was only known by measurement. If you draw a large enough circle and measure the circumference and the diameter accurately enough, you can determine Pi to, well, around 3-4 decimal places. Not much really is it - but for most people using pencil and paper a 1 meter diameter circle and a 1 millimetre is about the practical limit, so that's a 3 decimal place limit.
Wikipedia tells me that with a circle the size of the observable universe, and a measurement precision of 1 hydrogen atom - you can still only calculate Pi to 39 decimal places. And in case you're not aware, the observable universe is very large, and a hydrogen atom considerably less so. If you imagine a teapot, you couldn't fit the observable universe in it - whereas you could easily fit two hydrogen atoms within a teacup - and still have room for milk and sugar.
I just did a quick calculation, and by my reconing, if a hydrogen atom is around 25 picametres, and the obervable universe is around 1000 billion trillion kms, then I can't see how you'd get beyond 38 decimals.
Anyway, so it seems that calculating Pi was all about drawing circles until people started stumbling across mathematical series that approach Pi. Still, these are non-intuitive, but they do work.
For example, the series (4/1)-(4/3)+(4/5)-(4/7)+(4/9) .... where the denominator increase by 2 in each term, converges towards Pi ... very slowly. You get up to (4/13) before it even gets to "3", and you're up to (4/49) before you've found Pi to one decimal place. At (4/1017), which is all that I could do using all the columns in Excel with two terms per column, I still hadn't resolved Pi to 2 decimal places.
Whe I first read about this, I thought, if that's the way it works, how do people know how many places they've calculated Pi to? You've got a raft of decimals after each result, but how do you know which ones are right?
Then I thought to myself, obviously you keep adding terms until a decimal stops changing. But they don't change with each calculation. For the first six terms you'd be convinced that Pi = 2 point something. For the next 18 terms you'd think the first decimal is 0.
So, at the moment I remain a little confused. But by gosh by golly hasn't this been educational. I shall continue my investigations a little further.
Toodle-oo
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